Bargain shops do better than the Chapman Brothers!

Howdy!

I try to avoid bargain shops these days because Austudy wouldn't be enough to get all the unnecessary but funny, pleasant, cute and fluffy thingies we get out of there with.

But this time, it's different. I was looking for a birthday present for a friend who's turning 30 (Joyeux anniversaire, Bri!) and I found the most amazing squeezable items you can dream of just round the corner from my place. Now I've got birthday presents for the next ten years for an army of pals and mates and buddies, both in Oz and Cheeseland.

the most normal are these hollow bright-coloured balls with spikes on the outer side you can stretch and wear as a soft mohawk. A couple of years ago, you had to go to a chichi exclusive Oz Geographic in Darling Harbour or the airport to get the precious thing. Now, it's as democratised as the rubik's cube, and way tackier in ten years from here.
The next item is a funky variation on the relaxing ball, which came as a smiley, then a boob. This one is green doted with purple, and when you squeeze hard enough, yellow pops out from deep inside.
That's still tamed.
The Halloween version is a livid head with the occiput opened on a purple netted brain. When you squeeze, the brain pops out in many small bubbles the size of the stitch. Store it preciously and get it out often, kids!
Then, there is the Chapman brothers version. Remember, these crafty dudes who had reconstituted a whole massacre scene life-size, or rather death-size, aith corpse hanging from a tree and decomposing, zith rotten flesh and armies of maggots. Was just missing the smell. Well, that's it: you squeeze a skull and worms, leeches and blood jump at you from the eye-sockets with an titillating sucking noise. yuuuk!
This one is for Mayhem, the captain of Scatsquad: that's a poo and you squeeze it between your fingers and agh.... you've got to try it, true poo brown.....
Back on sheer Kitschland, there's the chicken from the ass from which (mon cul, c'est du poulet?), at squeeze, a raw egg appears with white and yolk; and the piggy with the eyes bulging off the head.

...you know what? I think I'll go to bargain shops more often, now.